"Have-Tos" Got You Running? Enjoy Now.

Yes, your mother's oncologist appointment needs to be scheduled around the cardiologist appointments. And yes, the cleaning service for your Mom did not come on Wednesday so you need to find out what happened. You still haven't had time to download your own bank statements much less balance your mother's checkbook. And don't forget your son has his show at 6:00pm and you are supposed to remember his lucky drumsticks?

Which leads to, what are you going to do for dinner? Which brings you full circle, reminding you to check with your mother's home companion to make sure that she is eating enough! It never seems to end, but it will. Don't forget to sit still and enjoy some shared moments.

It is easy to run around doing the "have to"s and forget that these moments are passing. If you truly feel you do not have time in your schedule to sit with your dad and remember when you would go fishing as a child, then put it on your schedule. Seriously, call it "Sitting still with Grandma" on your calendar. Then DO IT. It is as important as the oncologist appointment. If we are managing all of these details, what is it for?

A common side effect of managing all these details for a loved one is that the loved one begins to feel like a box on your list that needs to be checked off. Be in the moment. Find the things that make you both laugh. Paint your mom's fingernails while you to gossip about family. Take your dad to church if only because you will have the time in the car and on the way home to talk about the new car that just passed on the street. Sit with your grandfather and let him tell you the story (AGAIN) about a restaurant he visited many moons ago and how his tie fell in the soup. There will come a time where you may not be able to remember the details and will not have him to ask. Enjoy right now with all of your loved ones.