Isolation ... The Accelerator

Everyone wants to believe that their parents will tell them when they need help...but how often do YOU ask for help? How often do you carry one too many bags of groceries from the car to the kitchen? How many times have you moved that heavy piece of furniture and injured yourself? How many times have you spent hours researching an answer online when there are readily accessible and affordable professionals to assist you? Now imagine you are aging.

Really, you will ask for help? Well let's assume your parents won't. Your father isn't likely to say that he can't hear as well or is having trouble reading street signs. Your mother who is starting to lose her hearing will come up with reasons to stop attending movies and plays. Your family member that is losing their sight will stop driving as often, if at all, at night. The ones that are suffering from painful arthritis or other physical disabilities will have an excuse each time you invite them to dinner. These loved ones will just stop going out. They will feel that it is easier for YOU and for them. When it comes to our aging family and friends the number one "sign" you can watch for is isolation.

If we notice that they are less involved in the events that make up our full lives, there is a reason. Maybe you already know about it. Maybe they have been trying not to complain. Maybe they do not want to talk about it. As soon as you notice this sign, this self-isolating behavior it is THE time to have conversations. Conversations about how they want to spend the next ten years. Maybe it is time to consider moving to a more urban area where they can walk to the places they love without fear of the stress of driving complications...not hearing a siren, not seeing a street sign, or completely losing the ability to drive. Do they want to do their own shopping, walk to church, or be near a beauty salon?

What is important to them? If they want to be in the same house their kids grew up in then look into the services that come to them! Not only will this give them the items they need and want (a cleaned house, a companion to drive to doctor's appointments, someone to help them balance their checkbook) they will have regular visitors. The less they do, the less people they see, the less likely they will have motivation and opportunity to address problems as they come up. Isolation can accelerate the aging process. It can hinder treatment, recovery or thriving in our old age.